To the dude that stole my jacket since I doubt you were trying to protect me from plunging off the deep-end of hipster:
B) When you try to pass the jacket off to your gf as some sort of heart-felt gift, I hope she finally reaches her limit of putting up with your lame antics and
- Splashes her drink—that you hopefully paid for—in your face; and
- Tells you after all this time that yes, indeed your suspicions are warranted: you really are bad in bed.
C) Dude, I’m a Hybrid Socialist raised in America. I appreciate and like my disposable income, as meager as it might be (currently). So though you set me back a few clams, I’ll just get another jacket, but you my friend have triggered enough ill-vibes to resemble scarily, a fuku.