I blame the laws of physics

Part I

Once, this bear reindeer’s tummy brimmed with Hershey’s kisses and M&Ms. It took approximately two and a half workdays for the chocolate to disappear in a process for which I blame the laws of physics; the tell-tale heart phenomenon of knowing chocolate is near and being so bothered by this knowledge that the only way to make the heart stop beating is to consume the chocolate into silence.

An opened bag of tortillas, a plate of [normal-sized] chocolate chip cookies; mini snickers bars result in the same overwhelming Turret’s-like desire to act–that cannot be calmed until every last morsel enters your mouth.

Most of us have our own bear reindeer filled with chocolate. For some, it might be nuts; I personally do not feel agitated into consumption by nuts…unless they’re mixed with chocolate. For others cake or, perhaps crackers existing somewhere within walking distance ensures you cannot concentrate, ensures you will ignore a nascent stomachache due to already trying to silence the bear reindeer. Make the bear reindeer stop, and question why you thought you could survive having the tell-tale heart right on your desk—it might as well have been on your lap, and since it’s on your lap, it might as well be in your mouth—because no matter how hard you try…only five kisses and then I’m done…okay, now only five kisses…there is no use in fighting the laws of physics.